God loves all LGBTQI+ people 

There has been a lot of talk in recent days about the Bible’s teaching regarding homosexuality and marriage. Many of us have friends and relatives who have declared themselves to be gay or lesbian, and in our love for them we are concerned that the Bible’s teaching by our church can come across as condemning and unloving.
 
Certainly, the Bible is not written principally to address this issue (although in recent years it sometimes feels like it is). As a Christian leader I don't much want to be continually having to make this position clear. First and foremost, I would like to reach out to non-Christians with the good news of God’s rescuing love, and his immense grace in the way he accepts everyone and anyone. It is disheartening when the first clear message one might hear from the church is one that condemns someone’s lifestyle. [Having said that often God uses the guilty conscience in order to wake people up to his grace and love (Romans 2:12-16)].
I am aware that this article will not be able to tackle the issue thoroughly, so if it leaves your questions and confusion un-addressed please read the booklet “Is God anti-gay” by Sam Allberry (details below).

God is Love
 
Firstly, we remember the truth of God’s word the Bible, that God loves all of us, whoever we are, and whatever we've done, and whatever we're doing. There are no exceptions this side of Judgement Day. The Bible teaches about the great dignity of all people, as made in God’s image (Genesis 1:26-28). Every person, whoever they are, is so loved by our Creator that he sent his own dear Son, Jesus, to each of us, in this confused and broken world, to die on a cross to provide a way back to Himself (John 3:16).
 
We are Sinners
 
Secondly, God’s word teaches us that there is no one righteous not even one, “all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God” (Romans 3:9, 23). Even the great apostle Paul (who wrote Romans) declared himself the ‘worst’ of sinners (1 Timothy 1:15). So, when I speak of these things to my gay friend, I speak to them as an equal. One loved by God and made in his image, and also as one who has marred God’s image through my sin. 
 
Sex is ‘Good’
 
Some perhaps think that the Bible disapproves of sex, it really doesn't. In fact, it invented it!  God gave us this gift for our enjoyment, as well as procreation. God made us male and female and commanded ask to “be fruitful and increase in number” (Gen.1:28). Male and female compliment one another physically in order to make this possible. In Genesis we see that the woman shares the man’s nature (Gen.2:23), but there are differences in order to enable this unique and intimate bond (Gen.2:24). The purpose of sex is to express and deepen the unity between them. This is the pattern, the perfect fit, for all human sexual relationships. Man and woman become ‘one flesh’, making marriage a profound and safe environment for the physical, psychological, emotional and spiritual coming together of a couple. So, God gave us a means of reproduction that was also pleasurable.
 
Sex is Spoiled
 
However, turn the page to Genesis 3 and we find that mankind has spoilt what God has declared ‘good’. Things God has given us as good gifts have been twisted and made into idols we worship. This includes sex. The Bible teaches that any sexual activity outside the marriage bond is sinful (Mark 7:20-23). Jesus labels sexual immorality (‘porneia’ in the New Testament) ‘evil’ and ‘defiling’. As already noted,  our identity in God's image is gendered. We are not just human beings but ‘men’ and ‘women’ (Matthew 19:3-6), and we have marriage because of our sexual difference (“For this reason a man will leave…” Genesis 2:24). Also, marriage is meant to reflect something of God's nature (Ephesians 5:25-27 ).
 
God loves us so much and he has given us loving rules, to thrive in his world. They are not fences that hem us in, but foundations for living life to the full. When we ignore his rules, we injure ourselves. Society breaks down and we pay the consequences. For example,  cohabitation (living together without getting married) has created widespread social issues cause by broken families and broken hearts. This is also true of promiscuous sex, and any sexual activity outside God’s good design. It has left some with psychological damage, disease and more. It has also led to millions of abortions - which remains an epidemic to this day. God knows what is good for us. His rules encourage human flourishing.
 
An overemphasis by the Church on sexual sin?
 
Yes, probably (though this is often the case when there is a presenting issue in society).
As we see above, the Bible teaches that sex outside marriage is sinful and needs to be repented of (even adultery committed in our hearts – Matthew 5:27-28). However, despite what we may think, the Bible doesn't label sexual immorality as a worse sin than everything else. As we see in Romans 1, sexual immorality is listed alongside a whole raft of things. This list includes idolatry, greed, envy, gossiping, boastful arrogance and more (Romans 1:24-32). All such behaviour begins with a rejection of God and his ways, and choosing to worship created things to please the self, despite the evidence of God’s existence and laws (1:18-23). We have all done this (Romans 3:9-10).  One case in point is that too many evangelical churches turned a blind eye to heterosexual couples cohabiting (which is adultery), and not challenged them and called them to repentance for what is sin. Whereas the same churches have demanded repentance from homosexual couples. The Church needs to repent of this double standard. So, homosexual sex is no worse than slandering your neighbour. Both are sinful, and both requires repentance.
 
So, why all the fuss if homosexual sex is ‘just another sin’?
 
Because by blessing same sex partnerships churches are saying, “this is not a sin”.  By encouraging same-sex partnerships, churches are not calling for repentance. Therefore, if it remains unrepented then it becomes a salvation issue (what is sometimes callled “a first order issue” – 1 Cor.15:1-11). The gospel is at stake.
Jesus began his public ministry saying,“The Kingdom of God has come near. Repent and believe the good news” (Mark 1:14-15).  This, therefore, is the message of the Church to the world. Jesus, God’s King, has come to provide away back to relationship with God. Jesus invites all, without exception, to turn away from sin and turn to him for salvation. So, God’s Kingdom (his rule) has come in the person of Jesus. At his first coming, Jesus demonstrated signs of the Kingdom (EG healing the sick). One day he will return to inaugurate God's Kingdom where everything will be made right again in sinless perfection, and he will gather all his people to himself…forever. But if our sin is not dealt with, if it remains unforgiven, we cannot be a part of this glorious future (1 Corinthians 6:9). And God does not want us to miss out, that is why Jesus came (John 3:16). That is why he faced the cross, to pay the punishment our sin deserves. God’s right anger at my sin was poured out on his Son. Because he carried the world’s sin, the cross was a dreadful dreadful evil that Jesus faced for us, out of his incomprehensible love. His sacrifice is so fundamental that we do not simply acquiesce (we cannot just accept it passively). Jesus said, “repent and believe”.  In other words, “Do something about it. Get your house in order.”
 
What is repentance?
 
To repent means to turn around and go in the other direction. This means believing in Jesus and following him instead.  Therefore,  to ‘believe’ isn't a vague.. ‘I think God is out there somewhere’, but trusting in the person and promises of Jesus and seeking to please him.
So, to be God’s Kingdom people – to take advantage of the cross – we are to repent. We are to go in the opposite direction. This can mean making some painful choices, like giving up on certain sin or lifestyle. For some this can be incredibly and personally painful. When a good friend of mine became a Christian it wasn't long before he realised that he could not continue to cohabit  with his fiancée. He had to repent of that behaviour and move out. This led to the relationship breaking down. For some, choosing Jesus can mean waving goodbye to family acceptance, marriage, job prospects or financial security - to name but a few. Repentance can feel like ‘losing one’s life” (Mark 8:34-35a). But the sacrifice is SO worth it (Mark 8:35b-38)!  
 
Along with everyone else, Christians sin daily, therefore repentance is a regular discipline. To repent is to reject our action as sin and be resolved to change. Because of the cross forgiveness is given, even if we fall into the same sin the next day (or the next hour!). The key is our hearts (meaning it). If we reject the sin, resolving to turn from it, we will know God’s forgiveness. However, if I'm withholding anything from the Lord, if I am ‘repenting’ without resolving to reject certain sinful behaviour, then I remain unforgiven., Even if I say ‘sorry’ for a certain sin (but with no intention of turning away from it) then my repentance is meaningless.  
 
Also, it is worth adding that if I am a church leader and I teach something that the Bible calls ‘sin’, as not a sin, then I am leading ‘little ones’ in to sin and I too need to repent and work to undo the damage. [If you have been keeping up with the news, this was the Archbishop of Uganda’s point when he quoted Mark 9:42 in his article which caused the Archbishops of Canterbury and York to publicly (and wrongly) rebuke him]. So, on a Sunday, if I teach that God says shoplifting is perfectly acceptable, and if I encourage people to go and do it in the coming week, then I am denying the eighth commandment (Exodus 20:15), calling ‘sin’, as not a sin, and therefore leading people away from godliness and in to active sinning.  Remember what Jesus said to the church at Thyatira (Revelation 2:20-21)? We cannot tolerate the false teacher. We are to call them to account. Therefore, because our Oxford bishops are teaching that same-sex sex is not a sin, a number of us at St Paul’s have recently been writing to them to call them to repent.
 
So how should I…or my church…behave towards my gay friends and relatives?
  
With love and acceptance, as you would anyone. Most of us have friends or family members who would identify as homosexual. The Lord loves them so much, and we do too. We want to love them, serve them, share our faith with them, invite them to church just as we would anyone else.
And when it comes to our church, again we must be teaching a message of love and welcome.  When gay couples attend our church, they must be warmly welcomed and put at ease. If their lifestyle became clear early on we would not want to quickly challenge it, in just the same way as we wouldn't challenge any new comers who seemed caught up in some sin or another (church should be a hospital for sick people not a ivory tower for the ‘sorted’). Having said that, in time, if attendance was becoming regular with the couple showing signs of understanding and faith in Christ - a conversation would soon need to take. Remember, the law was given to the Israelites after God had brought them out of Egypt (Exodus 20:1). As Sam Allberry says in his book (mentioned below), “There is little point in describing how to live in the light of God’s grace if someone doesn't yet know God’s grace” (p.67-68). We start with the gospel in word, and in actions.
 
Homosexuality is a political issue at the moment, but it is always a very personal one. As a congregation (and its leadership) we need to work hard at making it something that is easy to talk about. I know two Christian men (not at St Paul’s) who struggle with same-sex attraction, and they have sometimes felt that the language used in church about homosexuality has been hurtful (thankfully they are both part of a loving and supportive church family). This also goes for those who have family members who are gay. Do we create an environment where people can talk openly about it and ask for prayer?  Over the last year or so we have been talking more about being a ‘messy church’. This means admitting that we're not sorted but we all have a struggles with sickness, sin, doubt, weak faith and much much more.  We want to increasingly be an open church. quick to share our struggles and needs. The act of sharing something personal with someone else is a great trust and leads to strengthening and deepening our relationships. This means ‘messy church’ becomes ‘real church’.  A resource that may help us in this resolve to be a better care for one another is found at www.livingout.org .
 
It is also worth making the point that churches also need to be careful to honour singleness. This is described in the Bible as a calling. Therefore, we should honour people who have this gift, and not treat it as a strange thing. Also, we are to be careful when it comes to ensuring single people among us are as much included in our church activities as anyone else. Who are we inviting round for cups of tea or meals? St Paul’s is a family. We share in life together. 
 
At the end of the day, whoever we are as Christians, whatever our struggles or background,   our identity is primarily that – a Christian, one found in Christ. Nothing matters more in life than this. Jesus is not invited along for the ride, to cheer us along in the path that we choose, Jesus is not a means to an end (to be personally fulfilled or have a happy life). Rather, he is the one we follow. Remember, he is the One who truly satisfies our deepest needs, emotional or otherwise. He is the Alpha and the Omega, the first and the last, he is the perfecter of our faith. Jesus is, to quote our much missed friend and vicar,  “everything”. So, we follow him.
Jesus said “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” (Matthew 11:28). Let us be those who continually and lovingly point one another, and those we encounter, to this Jesus.
 
 
Further reading
I commend to You a really short book  “Is God Anti-Gay” [contents below] written by Rev. Sam Allberry (a Christian who describes himself as “someone who lives with homosexuality”). It is available from the online bookstall or can be ordered via Tor Moir.

Is God anti-gay?
And other questions about homosexuality , the Bible and same-sex attraction.
 
Published by the Good Book Company                                                                             - Sam Allberry
 
 
 
Contents
 
      Introduction                                                                        7
 
1.   Homosexuality and God’s design                                  15
 
2.   Homosexuality and the Bible                                          25
      Surely a same-sex partnership is OK if
      it’s committed and faithful?                                                       39
 
      But Jesus never mentions homosexuality,                          
      So how can it be wrong?                                                           40
    
3.  Homosexuality and the Christian                                    43
      Aren’t we just picking and choosing
      which Old Testament laws apply?                                            59
 
      Is it sinful to experience same-sex attraction?                         63
  
4.  Homosexuality and the Church                                      65
      Can’t Christians just agree to differ on this?                            73
 
      Isn’t the Christian view of sexuality dangerous
       and harmful?                                                                              75
 
5.  Homosexuality and the World                                         79
      Should Christians attend gay weddings?                                 85
 
     Conclusion                                                                         87
      What should I do if a Christian comes out to me?                  90